The Protective and the Protector
by Werewolf Luver246
Summary: Bella finds herself re-thinking her relatioship with Edward. Is it really what she wants? Who will she finally choose? Edward or Jacob?
1. Protective

**A/N: I know I'm starting a lot of new stories lately. It's a good thing. I know that I had a story already about Jacob's fate after Eclipse, but I like to make plenty different scenerios. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**The Protective or the Protector?**

Chapter 1 - Protective

Bella's POV

I found it very hard to sleep that night. I lay there in Edward's cold, strong arms, my eyes closed. Physically, I appeared to be sound asleep, but my mind was working non-stop. I found myself reflecting on the past, on the decision I'd made. I promised myself that it was for real this time, absolute and final. So why was I still thinking about it? Edward was all I wanted. I wanted to join his wonderful family, and be with him for the rest of eternity. We had worked so hard to get where we were. I was going to marry him in a week. Everything was said and done. Maybe it was just cold feet. Everyone gets them. I tried not to think about it, but I found it hard to do. I felt absolutely selfish, and guilty. How could I be changing my mind now? I couldn't be! I promised Edward that I was one hundred percent sure of my decision. That there was nothing to consider. But I found myself constantly trying to convince myself that more than Edward.

I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind. I don't know what he would have thought of me if he knew what I was thinking.

I thought about Jacob. My former best friend, who held the other half of my broken heart. I convinced myself that I was over him. If that was so, why was I thinking about him? I had already said goodbye. It was done, over with. No, it never would be. He would always be a permanent mark on my life. It was impossible to think otherwise. I knew that I loved him. But I shouldn't. _No._ I told myself._ You love Edward too._ But did I really love him more? That was the question. I had said it many times before, but did I really mean it.

Edward Cullen was absolutely perfect. He was inhumanly beautiful, talented in almost everything, and had the sneaky ability to dazzle me. He dazzled everyone, though he never thought so. Was I any different than anyone else who gawked at Edward Cullen? Or was I really in love? Edward could easily make any girl fall in love with him, was I any different? The only thing that made me sure I wasn't only fooling myself was the fact I only had to trust, Edward loved me too. Well, I still wasn't sure if I was only fooling myself. Edward was..too perfect. I had to ask myself if he was actually real at times. How could it possibly work out for us? No matter how in love with him I was, I could never possibly measure up to him. He made me feel ashamed of myself at many times. The way he constantly forgave me, showed constant mercy and compassion, and was totally flawless. Did I really want to feel like that all the time?

That was only one of the cons to being with Edward. There was also the fact that I never really felt like myself around him. I felt myself constantly trying to dazzle _him_. Though that was virtually impossible. Should I really bother hurting myself anymore by really trying?

Edward was also really over-protective at times. He would never really let me meake a free decision for myself without having a discussion about it. He always had to know where I was or what I was doing. It really irritated me at times. Would I be able to stand the suffocation forever? It was only a matter of time before I would slip.

Last but not least, if I stayed with Edward I would give up…everything. Charlie Renee, and…..Jacob. And my humanity for that matter. Was it really worth it? Edward was really apposed to the idea of me becoming a vampire. There it was again. The suffocation. There is a fine line between being protective or a protector. Edward was always protective, but Jake was more my protector. But which one did I want more? No. Which one did I _need_ more?

**A/N: I am doing another chapter after this one. This time she thinks about Jake. And afterwards, she makes her decision. Which one do you think she'll choose?**

**REVIEWERS GET COOKIES **_**AND**_** BROWNIES!**


	2. Sleeptalking

**A/N: I am so, so, so, so incredibly freaki'n sorry it took me so long to update this. I had to read a **_**ton**_** of Jacob/Bella fics to get inspired for this story. Though isn't Jacob inspiration enough? **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of it's amazing characters. **

Chapter 2 - Sleep-talking

Still Bella's POV

I woke up to the scent of Edward's sweet, icy breath, at the back of my neck. He kissed me gently.

" Time to wake up, love." He whispered, in his velvet tone. I yawned at sat up, facing up. " Good morning," he said, " Did you sleep well?"

" Yeah, just fine." I answered.

" Really? You were tossing and turning all night. You also..mentioned a few things.."

" You know by now to ignore the nonsense in my sleep-talking." I assured.

" Normally, I would believe that, but it was a delicate enough subject."

" Such as?" I asked.

He suddenly gave me a puzzled look, " Don't you remember it at all?"

" I don't remember half of my dreams, Edward."

" Well….I think it had something to do with…Jacob." His voice cracked a bit at the last part.

Suddenly, the whole night came back to me. My self contemplating, my doubts, and….the dream. Edward was definitely right about it involving Jacob. Yeah…it involved Jacob a whole lot. Oh my gosh! If I was talking in my sleep…there's no telling what Edward heard!

" Do you remember now?"

" Yeah..I do. It was nothing Edward. Just a stupid dream."

" Well….if you're sure."

" Positive." I said, though I was totally lying.

" I should probably head out and not give your neighbors a reason for gossip."

He kissed me gently on the lips before leaving through my window.

" I love you Isabella Marie Swan." He whispered.

" I love you, too." I said.

**A/N: All right, I know that chapter was extremely short, but I promise to update sooner than before. I just need people to review to guarantee that!**

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	3. Protector

**A/N: I'm so sorry. I lied to all of you, I know. I'm not the quickest updater in the world, and I get frustrated with myself as much as you do. It's just a personal barrier, in which I need to break through. **

**Disclaimer: None of the Twilight characters are mine, and I'm sure Stephenie would have taken a lot less time to think of a story. Maybe, maybe not.**

Chapter 3 - Protector

Bella's POV

I knew one thing for certain, Edward could know absolutely nothing about this. I was relieved that my thoughts would always be mystery to him. It was a mystery to me why this was so, but I was happy for whatever the cause may be.

I had called the Blacks' house not too long after Edward had left. Billy was the one to answer the phone. He said that Jacob had just gotten back from a "runaway of self-reflection". I had absolutely no idea what that was, but that sounded like a title only Jacob would call it. Apparently, Jacob wasn't in the best shape. I wouldn't blame him. According to Billy, he wasn't talking to anybody, he refused to even be seen by anyone.

Today, that was going to change. I had to see Jacob. Even if he wouldn't talk to me, I had to get the pressure off of my shoulders. I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to him. What could I say? I guess I'd just have to improvise.

The drive to La Push seemed longer than usual. My truck wasn't the problem, it was my stupid mind playing tricks on me again. I found it hard to concentrate on what I was doing, I kept sorting out the pro's and con's of Edward and Jacob in my mind. This time, keeping in mind of what I needed, and not necessarily what I wanted. Maybe once I saw Jacob, looked him in his deep black eyes, and was struck by his childish smile, which reflected pure innocence, my answer would make itself known.

**A/N: In my mind, this chapter totally sucks,. My friends just kept begging me to update at least one of my stories. I'm sorry that you have to suffer through the misery. I guess I can always change it later, but I'll leave the final decision up to the readers. **

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